5 ways to treat her right

By Margot Carmichael Lester

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:14-15 that “she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.” It’s a nice sentiment, but what do you do about it?

“If a man wishes to win over a woman, he should be an excellent listener and also consider romantic settings and atmosphere,” says Susan Shapiro Barash, author of The Men Out There: A Woman’s Little Black Book. “If this man is willing to show his appreciation of this woman and make her feel special, that’s the key.”

But special is the tricky part, isn’t it? How do you show her she’s important to you without falling prey to clichéd expressions of affection? And can you integrate your faith into the mix? Let one woman give you her perspective: “You don’t really feel like he thinks you hung the moon if all you get is a rose you know he bought at the convenience store on the way over or a lame souvenir to acknowledge that you took care of his dog when he was on that business trip,” laments Sue Wong of San Francisco. “Being appreciated means you have to put some thought or effort into it.”

So, gents, here are some unique ways to show her how much you appreciate her:

1. Count your blessings.
“When blessing your meal together thank God for her, and be specific,” suggests Lex Miller of Omaha. “Honestly reflect on how she impacts your life.” One caution: You might not want to try this until you’ve been dating awhile. For early dates, perhaps give thanks for meeting new friends or something that’s sweet, not creepy.

2. Do something only she will appreciate.
Show that you really get her essence... even if it pushes you into new territory. That was the case for Kirk Sullivan of Santa Fe Spring, CA: “I just bought my wife Barbie clothes. She’s a wedding-gown designer who got her start designing clothes after she got her first Barbie when she was five years old. Not every man would want to buy Barbie clothes for his wife—but everyone can honor the course of his lady’s life that led her to be the wonderful woman she is today.”

3. Cite the Good Book.
If you want to go more traditional, “make sure that you truly communicate your appreciation by choosing a favorite passage from scripture and include it with the gift,” suggests Michael Whitley of New York. “I like Proverbs 31:10—‘Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.’” Again, choose a passage that’s appropriate for your level of commitment.

4. Carpet her world in cards.
“A friend of mine came up with this: On his girlfriend’s birthday, he would send her a card for every month they’d been together and put them in different places,” says Jon Caroulis of Philadelphia. “He’d mail a few to her at work, or her home, or leave them in a place where he knew she’d be.”

5. Take care of chores.
“Just as Jesus washed his disciples’ feet — a practice that at the time was reserved for the lowliest of servants — you could take on a chore,” suggests Frank Alberghetti of Miami. “Cleaning the bathroom, getting the oil changed in her car. You will be making a sacrifice that she will really appreciate and she will know that you are doing it on her behalf. This is even more powerful if you do it more than once—and always with conviction.” You could also just wash her feet. Very intimate, very sexy.

Putting any one of these ideas in motion will make you look like a thoughtful guy who appreciates the woman in his life. Doing more than one — or even all — will make sure you remain her Prince Charming even after the magic spell wears off!